Here is a drawing of the chair on which I sit to work. To be precise, it is a drawing of what the chair isn’t. A drawing of the negative shapes around the chair. When my first art teacher, Nicholas Galloway, gave this class he said “this will change the way you see the world for ever”. And it did. Now, no longer do I look for the shapes I look also for the shapes around and in between. This is an essential skill for drawing anything, especially portraits.

In all my coaching I adopt a Solutions Focussed approach.  In this approach all the involved parties build a common view of the way forward, through conversation. Analysing problems tends to embed the problem thinking.  Cause and effect, though seemingly obvious, is at best tenuous. The solution does not care about the problem. So just focus on the solution and agree how to get it in place.  I like this approach and I see it working all the time.

Sometimes however it is worth being aware of the ‘other side’.  What is the darker partner doing?  It is worth looking out for behaviour originating in the unconscious world.  But by definition we are not aware of what is going on there.  It is outside of our conscious.  So we embark on a journey.  An investigation.  We look for clues and we reflect on symptoms.  This is typically not in the realm of coaching.  But for those who want to find answers, the clues are there.  There is enough we can understand to create a solutions focused response.  There are also highly skilled guides who can assist us in the search.  But that takes us beyond the scope of this blog and my offer.

This note introduces something of the psychodynamic approach in coaching.

We have a rich world of mental activity, happening outside of the realm of our conscious. Deeply held beliefs from this world sometimes clash with resolutions in our conscious stream of thought. This raises conflict in our behaviour that we may find confusing and disheartening. Freud gave us the picture of three forces competing for a limited supply of psychic energy. We feel anxiety as our pragmatic, sensible part tries to control the fun-loving and dangerous urges of the childlike part, under the eye of the stern perfectionist who rewards us with pride when we do well and punishes us with guilt and inferiority when we don’t.

As responsible organisation citizens we like to think we work in a thoughtful, linear relationship between where we are and where we want to be. However the interplay of these forces results in the detours, rushes and delays along the way. These make up the long and winding road we recognise when we reflect on the way we have actually come. One perspective on this world is the defences we put up to deal with threat and pain.

Fantasy is important in this view of behaviour. More often than not we carry an idealised notion of who we are and what we are capable of achieving. In most cases the workplace cannot cater to our fantasies. Only a few make it to the top, maintain the status of rising star. All the rest are disappointed, experiencing an inner turmoil that is rarely discussed openly. These painful feelings find their way out from under the psychic covers in frustrated, disguised and camouflaged forms.

When we feel this pain we are likely to use unconscious mechanisms to protect our inner sense of well being. These mechanisms distort or deny reality to prevent us from feeling too threatened or too hurt. These mechanisms are useful in the short-term, to temporarily blunt the pain as we prepare ourselves to take a hold of things. However if these reactions become habitual or extreme, if we are too quick to defend ourselves or cling to defences, these defences begin to interfere with accurate perceptions of reality. They become troublesome.

Psychodynamics is a vast, rich field of analysis that can address this trouble. I could hardly expect to do this justice in a single blog posting. I have therefore decided to highlight some behaviours you may recognise in yourself or others. There are many many defence mechanisms defined in the back of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th edition (DSM-IV; American Psychiatric Association, 1994, pp.751-757).

Bruce Peltier, author of The Psychology of Executive Coaching gives the following list of defences you may come across in yourself or in others in the everyday workplace:

Adapting

Altruism

Throwing yourself into actions to benefit others rather than dealing with your own uncomfortable feelings. Missing you the promotion you get stuck in at the local pre-school project.

Sublimation

Channelling uncomfortable emotional energy into socially acceptable behaviour. Feeling aggrieved, you go for a run.

Humour

Emphasising the funny aspects of a situation (gallows humour).

Substitution

Substituting a comfortable behaviour (Facebook) for a threatening one (calling prospects). An old favourite.

Compensation

Over-working in areas to cover for weaknesses.

Rituals

Repetition of behaviours (bounce the ball three times before serving).

Identification

Taking on the identity of the organisation or leader to avoid feelings of inferiority.

Affiliation

Turning to others for support rather than taking on negative feelings.

Denying

Denial

Unconscious ignoring of the facts.

Repression

Banishing an idea from our reality. Extreme denial.

Isolation

Detaching feelings from behaviour.

Twisting reality

Rationalisation

Change the explanation to make it more acceptable. We do this all the time – don’t we?

Intellectualisation

Ignore feelings, discuss the theory or facts of the issue.

Projection

Attribute your unacceptable desire to the other person. “She hates me” when really you know…

Strange behaviour

Reaction formation

To tolerate a threatening impulse we express its opposite.

Help-rejecting complaining

Complain or make repetitious requests for help that aren’t sincere.

Displacement

Express hostile urges to safer targets – kick the dog.

Regression

Revert back to earlier, less mature behaviour.

Conversion

Express anxiety through physical response rather than appropriate action. Getting sick on the eve of your presentation.

Passive aggression

Behaving in passive ways to exhibit our aggression towards a dangerous subject.

Provocation

Behave in a way that provokes someone else to behave poorly, justifying your retaliation.