Conflict

Solution-Focused Coaching – tools for team interaction

By |2018-06-29T08:03:37+00:00June 28th, 2018|Coaching, Communication, Conflict, Empowerment, Facilitation, Strategy, Workshop, Workshop Technique|

We think we are open-minded. We assume we see all perspectives on an issue in a balanced, fair and Solution-Focused way. However research by Herbert Simon shows this not to be true. Our capacity to think freely is always bound by what we already know. And new ideas push us into the realm of resistance [...]

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Left Hand Column – honesty is more than not lying

By |2018-02-19T11:27:28+00:00April 2nd, 2016|Communication, Conflict, Conversation models, Leading|

Your assumptions can destroy you.  And everyone else! On October 27, 1962 eleven US Navy destroyers and the aircraft carrier USS Randolph dropped practice depth charges on a Soviet Foxtrot class submarine, B59, in international waters.  This was at the height of the Cuban Missile Crisis.  Unknown to the US Navy, the submarine carried [...]

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A classic No in movie history

By |2016-11-18T10:03:58+00:00March 22nd, 2016|Communication, Conflict|

This image comes from the artist Eric Geusz.  Thanks Eric.  You can see more of his work on his page 'entroz' on Deviant Art. No - A magic spell in two letters No is really short.  It’s easy to pronounce.  But like any magic spell, it is dangerous, sometimes difficult to voice and it takes [...]

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Conflict: Prepare for battle

By |2016-11-18T10:04:02+00:00May 12th, 2015|Conflict|

“Our organisation is a family.  Quite often clients will point this out.  With gravity.  As though this is a guarantee of light, peace and tranquility.   A haven safe from conflict.  But of course all families are dysfunctional.  As poet and author of the family memoir “The Liars Club” says, “ a dysfunctional family is any [...]

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Embrace real conflict and grow

By |2016-11-18T10:04:04+00:00June 25th, 2012|Conflict|

A while ago I watched the Top Gear rerun in which Richard Hammond drove a 1963 Opel Kadett called ‘Oliver’ across the wildest terrain in Botswana. The team crossed the Makgadikgadi pan; a thin crust of clay over mush where to stop is to lose your vehicle. They took on rough dirt roads and soft [...]

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Build relationship by embracing emotions

By |2016-11-18T10:04:05+00:00February 20th, 2012|Communication, Conflict, Conversation models, Negotiation, Personal Mastery|

Build relationship in negotiation: a parable You meet with your boss to discuss an increase in pay. You have decided to stick to the facts; to avoid all emotion in negotiation.  As you present your case you remember those who rely on you to do the work but earn more than you. Your voice takes [...]

“NO”

By |2016-11-18T10:04:05+00:00February 15th, 2012|Coaching, Conflict, Conversation models, Personal Mastery|

Learning to say NO might seem a selfish thing to do. BUT! By learning to say NO without feeling guilty, you will find time you never dreamed you had. You will quite literally claim back your life.  This post is based on material from my friend Arthur Gobey. Because NO is such powerful word, it [...]

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Solution-Focused Coaching – the space in-between

By |2018-06-29T06:48:41+00:00November 14th, 2011|Coaching, Communication, Conflict, Conversation models, Delegation, Empowerment, Facilitation, Models|

In ‘The Mentalist’ Patrick Jane is a petty criminal turned consulting detective. Incredibly perceptive, with a deep understanding of human behaviour, he picks up all sorts of clues from people, alive or dead, that his likeable but flat-footed professional colleagues always miss. He then uses clever psychological ploys and strategies to get the perpetrator, whom [...]

Dealing with criticism

By |2016-11-18T10:04:08+00:00October 7th, 2011|Coaching, Conflict, Conversation models, Models|

“Against criticism a man can neither protest nor defend himself; he must act in spite of it, and then it will gradually yield to him.” Johann Wolfgang Goethe. The human condition includes blind spots.  Therefore we need feedback.  This means criticism.  Criticism is a core process in delivering quality.  In healthy environments people who create [...]

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Shades of dependence

By |2016-11-18T10:04:08+00:00September 28th, 2011|Change, Coaching, Communication, Conflict, Empowerment, Facilitation, Leading, Learning, Models, Personal Mastery, Teams|

One of the most common rules for workshops is “Candour”.  “Speak your mind!”  But this is often the most difficult to practice.  To understand this reticence let’s consider our growth process and development from dependence. We grow in cycles. On entry into the world we see ourselves as part of our mother, “me and mom [...]

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