Communication

Solution-Focused Coaching – tools for team interaction

By |2018-06-29T08:03:37+00:00June 28th, 2018|Coaching, Communication, Conflict, Empowerment, Facilitation, Strategy, Workshop, Workshop Technique|

We think we are open-minded. We assume we see all perspectives on an issue in a balanced, fair and Solution-Focused way. However research by Herbert Simon shows this not to be true. Our capacity to think freely is always bound by what we already know. And new ideas push us into the realm of resistance [...]

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Defensive Reasoning: the traps we set ourselves

By |2020-11-10T06:10:14+00:00April 19th, 2016|Communication, Conversation models, Teams|

Dean Rusk with President Johnson and Robert McNamara.  The very pinnacle of government in the USA at the time.  No place for defensive reasoning - but... Dean Rusk was the 54th United States Secretary of State from 1961 – 1969, serving under John F. Kennedy and Lyndon B. Johnson.  He has also been attributed with [...]

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Left Hand Column – honesty is more than not lying

By |2018-02-19T11:27:28+00:00April 2nd, 2016|Communication, Conflict, Conversation models, Leading|

Your assumptions can destroy you.  And everyone else! On October 27, 1962 eleven US Navy destroyers and the aircraft carrier USS Randolph dropped practice depth charges on a Soviet Foxtrot class submarine, B59, in international waters.  This was at the height of the Cuban Missile Crisis.  Unknown to the US Navy, the submarine carried [...]

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A classic No in movie history

By |2016-11-18T10:03:58+00:00March 22nd, 2016|Communication, Conflict|

This image comes from the artist Eric Geusz.  Thanks Eric.  You can see more of his work on his page 'entroz' on Deviant Art. No - A magic spell in two letters No is really short.  It’s easy to pronounce.  But like any magic spell, it is dangerous, sometimes difficult to voice and it takes [...]

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Advice: Can you give it? Can you take it?

By |2020-11-10T06:12:52+00:00November 27th, 2015|Coaching, Communication|

There is a story about a man driving down the road when a woman comes past the other way screaming at him “PIG, PIG”.  He looks round and makes a rude gesture at her and as he turns back he runs into a pig in the middle of the road. OK it is not a [...]

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Splitting and Projection – a core defense

By |2020-11-10T06:25:33+00:00September 24th, 2015|Coaching, Communication|

We avoid dealing with issues by splitting and projection. Melanie Klein, a student of Freud, identified our ability to manage the anxiety of reality by disowning our crises. As an infant, we could not face the terror of a mother not being available to us or worse still, being angry with us. To deal with [...]

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Undiscussable: Is this why your values don’t gain traction?

By |2020-11-10T06:39:43+00:00April 8th, 2015|Communication, Leading, What Matters|

The real truth behind values-based change My friend Jane runs a business in which she has a handyman visiting client houses.  Time and cost management are critical.  One day while I was visiting, the handyman came in from a job.  He had to return to the same house with equipment he had forgotten the first [...]

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Are you structuring your interactions to destroy relationships?

By |2016-11-18T10:04:04+00:00May 2nd, 2012|Communication, Models, Personal Mastery|

“A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. That's why there are so few good conversations: due to scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet.” ― Truman Capote While I would hesitate to argue with a writer of the stature of Truman Capote, good conversation is rich and complex and is based on more than intelligence, [...]

How to create understanding by surfacing the hidden roles in your team

By |2016-11-18T10:04:05+00:00February 20th, 2012|Coaching, Communication, Conversation models, Facilitation, Models, Teams, Workshop|

You have been developing an offer for months. Now as you are preparing to launch, one person on your team continues to disrupt meetings with negative comments about the product. What do you do? Well, eventually you fire him of course. And in so doing you rid the team of the annoyance. You also rid [...]

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Build relationship by embracing emotions

By |2016-11-18T10:04:05+00:00February 20th, 2012|Communication, Conflict, Conversation models, Negotiation, Personal Mastery|

Build relationship in negotiation: a parable You meet with your boss to discuss an increase in pay. You have decided to stick to the facts; to avoid all emotion in negotiation.  As you present your case you remember those who rely on you to do the work but earn more than you. Your voice takes [...]

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