What is an exciting adventure for one person may be highly stressful for another.  Since 1956, when Dr Hans Selye coined the term ‘stress’, our understanding of stress, its causes, impacts and remedies has grown. The many remedies for stress can be summarised by five generic approaches:

  1. Clarify values and goals.
  2. Develop self-affirming relationships
  3. Reframing and relaxation
  4. Focus on nutrition to build energy.
  5. Exercise to improve fitness

If these sound obvious, why do we still have a problem with stress? In extensive research, Richard Earle, Managing Director of the Canadian Institute of Stress found that as different people respond differently to different situations, so different people require different stress management plans. He identified six stress personalities with specific approaches:

The Speed Freak

The Speed Freak is a borderline workaholic or perfectionist. They apply maximum effort to everything, hoping sooner or later to bring success to something. Everything, no matter how (un)important requires an all-out effort. Lasting satisfaction requires more drive, more speed, and therefore more stress. Just the thought of slowing down provokes anxiety. Action is interspersed with periods of deep fatigue.

Focus for Action

As a Speed Freak knowing where to go full out and where to kick back, to conserve energy, gives you control, and therefore the edge. Therefore first clarify your values, goals and the prizes really worth pursuing in life. Then clearly define the “Small Stuff you will no longer sweat” to conserve energy for what really matters.

Wisdom

The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favour to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all. Ecclesiastes 9:11.

The Worry Wart

Worry Warts are paralysed by analysis and useless wheel spinning worry. They spend a third of their time and energy worrying about a small number of issues, rehearsing “What-ifs”, running at high RPM, but rarely putting themselves in gear.

Focus for Action

First understand your fears. Itemise and reframe the terrible things that you imagine may happen. Clarify how likely they are, the impact if they happen and your possible plans of action.
Then use these insights to clarify values and goals. Be specific about what you want or who you want to be in chosen situations. Shut down options that are not worthwhile so that you can stop worrying about them.

Wisdom

Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap. Sow your seed in the morning and at evening let not your hands be idle, for you do not know which will succeed… Ecclesiastes 11:4 and 6

The Drifter

The Drifter lives in a perpetual “mid-life crisis”. They doubt existing goals, don’t commit deeply to anything and spread their energy across too many options. They feel dissatisfied, that something is missing in their life.

Two opposite life approaches can end in the same place of ‘Drifting’. In one you may have spread yourself across far too many responsibilities to do more than dabble in any of them. In the second, you have tried to get too much satisfaction from too few endeavours. As the returns diminished, you tried harder, shedding more interests, till you ponderously focus on one all-consuming involvement, usually work.

Focus for Action

As a Drifter you resist getting clarifying what will provide deeper fulfilment. Only when you are fully and actively involved in one or two important relationships will you develop the perseverance and the social support required to settle down and make some more self-fulfilling choices.
Therefore start by establishing self-affirming relationships. A real flesh and blood partner (and this is not a dog) provides stimulation and feedback required to realise that some activities are more enjoyable than others.
Then reflect on the experiences in those relationships that bring satisfaction. Set priorities, goals and make action choices to experience this pleasure on a regular basis.

Wisdom

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might… Ecclesiastes 9:10

The Loner

Loners feel uncomfortable with others, often masking this with a smile. They feel unfulfilled in relationships, experiencing difficulty in giving or receiving easy, relaxed closeness or intimate sharing. They follow a slow, often lifelong process of avoiding relationships. Without the appreciation of values and interests that happen in a group, they don’t have specific activities they really enjoy.
Loners avoid the stress of relationships. But they are deprived of others’ input on how to manage uncertainties, how they are doing and what to do next. Alone, they carry heavier burdens and higher stress.

Focus for Action

If you are a loner your best approach is to first clarify your core values. Reflect on experiences or activities involving others which have provided real satisfaction. Then set the goals which best express those values. Read biographies and reflect on the role of relationships in the life of those you find interesting. Volunteer some of your time (not your money) to help out in an activity that involves other people such as community services or charity.
Then cultivate relationships. Seek out people with the interests you have chosen. But don’t expect too much from others. Rather cultivate relationships which affirm what you value and consider what you can offer in those relationships.

Wisdom

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three is not quickly broken. Ecclesiates: 4:12

Basket Cases and Cliff Walkers

Basket Cases and Cliff Walkers have similar roots and the same course of treatment.

The Basket Case

The Basket Case is in constant “energy crisis” where their energy often fades by mid-day. They are overwhelmed by most activities. They have frequent aches/pains in muscles or joints and suffer depression.

Cliff Walkers

Cliff walkers top the “risk factor charts” with smoking, alcohol misuse and no exercise. Their vital signs (weight, blood pressure, heart-rate etc. ) are in ‘the red’. Yet they are oblivious to the hammering to which they subject their bodies. They have low energy, frequent minor illnesses, aches and pains.  These are aggravated by a disregard for other vital factors in managing stress. For instance:

  • Leaving things to the last minute, they routinely run on adrenaline to get things done. Their body periodically induces fatigue-like time-outs in order to repair stress-driven damage.
  • Un-managed personal relationships lead to low fulfilment, and feelings of deprivation, frustration and anxiety. These cause them to try harder, leading to fatigue or illness.

Focus for Action

If you are Basket Case or Cliff Walker the first step is to focus on nutrition to create a source of energy. This does NOT mean radical dieting. It DOES mean a healthy nutritious diet, generous water intake and a vitamin-mineral supplement.
Then take on an exercise programme to improve cardio-respiratory fitness.
When both these factors are established, you can learn simple energy conservation techniques such as reframing, relaxation and daily take-a-break sessions. Within two months you will have all the energy you need to take on life.

Wisdom

Then I realised that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labour under the sun during the few days of life God has given him, for this is his lot. Ecclesiastes 5:18