Last week as I parked at the gym a woman in a smart German 4×4 pulled up next to me. I glanced up to see how close she parked. She fixed me with sullen stare. Each time I looked up, I caught the baleful gaze. It was like something out of a gangster movie. Then her son got out and he had the same dead eyes. As I walked into gym I decided that some people were just not very happy.

As I warmed up on a step machine I read an article on the research into what makes people happy. A busy field of research. Papers are published in Science and people earn Nobel prizes for their research into the question of happiness.  Many disciplines are engaged:

  • Psychologists want to understand what people feel.
  • Economists what to know what people value.
  • Neuroscientists seek to understand how our brains respond to rewards.

Why is happiness so important?

Well for a start happy people are more creative and more productive.  Everyone knows that you need to keep an edge of fear in your dealings with staff to get them to produce. And ‘everyone’ is wrong.  There are obvious exceptions. Just as we all know a guy who smoked two packs a day from when he was 15 and lived till 90, so people point to Beethoven, Vincent van Gogh and Hemmingway as proof that miserable people are more creative.  But the research shows the opposite.  Contented people are more creative and more productive.  Just to be clear, contented does not mean bored. Working through a challenge builds contentment.

Then what makes us happy?  What is the secret?

The research shows few surprises. People who are healthy, who live in community and are wealthy are more happy. Over a century of research has shown unequivocally that reward works better than punishment. People rise to a challenge but are squashed by threats. Staff are happier and more productive when they:

  • Are treated fairly.
  • Are recognised for success in significant and challenging work.
  • Have warm, interesting and cooperative relationships in the work-place.

Perhaps an unexpected finding is that frequency is a better predictor of happiness than intensity.  A single big event will not create longer lasting happiness. And similar big events have less impact the more we experience them. Small boys’ response to regular ice-cream quickly goes from excitement to entitlement.  The research also pointed to our remarkable ability to cope and find happiness or joy in the face of set-backs and disappointments, even in the most dire circumstances.

It is possible to engage in a programme of events to lift your spirits.  Just as we know that losing weight requires us to eat less and exercise more, so being happy requires a series of many small positive events over time.  And this takes time to take effect. So eating num-nums from the hedge at a client site, hugging your child or sitting in the shade listening to the birds are more likely to create a lasting happiness. Chatting with friends behind the break may be more uplifting than one ‘wave of the day’!  Regular quiet reflection, exercise, enough sleep all contribute to happiness. Nurturing social connections, telling people why you are grateful to them. Nothing surprising in that. Altruism, helping others is particularly potent. Just as a crash diet can have the opposite of the desired effect, so massive windfalls (like winning the lottery) can create more turbulence than happiness.  We know this.  The secret is not a secret!

At the end of my gym session I was in the change room and there was an older guy changing at the opposite end of the bench. Another old guy came in and greeted him in a most energetic and welcoming way. He laughed and pointed to his friend’s pinkish tee-shirt and began to tease him. “Maar ek sien jy dra jou ma se vrokkie… Ek sien in ons ou-dae word ons sag… Ek is ten minster oplettend, ek sien jy loop van die spore af”  He laughed. (“I see you are wearing your wife’s blouse. In our old age we are getting soft.  At least I can see that you are going off the rails.”).  All this time his mate kept a poker face and just said “Jy’s ****** lelik”. (“You are ******* mean).

Later I saw them with other friends in their work attire having coffee. “Well” I thought “there’s a more happy start to the day.

“We wanted to make something that reflected the life we were living, that had some of the joy of family and the headiness of late nights and bright lights.
But Joy is a very hard thing to conjure, and happiness won’t do.” –  Bono