Here are seven principles for negotiating from “Shake Hands with the Devil” by Frank L. Acuff
- Do your homework.
- in order not to be blindsided, learn about the people, the organisation, identify all the issues and identify settlement ranges for each
- Help others get what they want (go for win-win).
- Go for it and let them beat you down.
- You get more if you ask for more
- Confront the issues most important to you in an agreeable way.
- To disagree agreeably:
- Pick the right time
- Confront in private
- Describe the unwanted behaviour without being judgemental
- Use an “I” message; instead of “you are interrupting me” say “I am having trouble finishing my sentences”
- Let the other side respond without interruption
- Listen with your eyes and your ears.
- Try to understand the other person’s point of view
- Acknowledge the other side’s concerns
- Listen as though you care (to do this you actually have to care)
- Test for understanding
- Find something to agree with
- Nod your head affirmatively
- THEN – disagree if you want to
- Use the rules of persuasion.
- Use emotion to open the mind of the other side e.g. “with this merger we are going to have a whole lot of very picky people looking at our processes, results and costs – with microscopes”
- Then use logic to justify your claim (use as few arguments as necessary)
- Then focus on the other person’s interests, their “What’s In It For Me”
- Build Trust at any cost.
- Trust is critical – once lost we may never get it back
- Make persistence and patience an obsession.
- Sometimes, time is all we have – or at least all we want the other party to believe we have